first mother's day

mother's day 2010: i've only been a mommy for 20 days, but my first mother's day felt like a significant milestone in my life. i lost my mom five-and-a-half years ago. celebrating this day without her was hard. there is a deep sadness in my heart, but it is overcome with so much joy when i look at my little boy.

having beckett with us today puts life into perspective. when i look at my son, i see the perfection that God sees when He looks at us. when He looks at us, covered by the sacrificial blood of His Son, He sees Jesus. we are perfect and new...just like my little one. 

but, just as we have been discussing in our small group, i am so grateful to serve a god who is good and not always fair. 

he does not treat us as our sins deserve 
    or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, 
    so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west, 
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

psalm 103: 10-12

my sins are great and deserve great punishment, but when He looks at me and sees Christ, i am the image of perfection. thank you, Lord, for seeing us not as we were, but as we are now. thank you for making us new.

blog praise

i don't know why i have put off blogging for so long. i've been telling my husband lately that i wanted to write a book (donald miller style). in the book i would talk about my adventures on the train, things that happen in my life every day that seem revolutionary (but possibly are only revolutionary to me), and other nonsense thoughts that lead me to be who i am.

if you have followed my blogs before, you will be disappointed. i'm not who i was then. and if you only knew the me back then...we have some catching up to do. 

If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. - from a million miles in a thousand years by donald miller

i was blogging frequently around the time my mom died more than five years ago. i often wrote about the struggles i was having and how i was overcoming the difficulties of losing a parent. probably more often than that, i wrote about my encounters with God over this time, however it may have related or not to my circumstances. i received a lot of praise from close friends and internet strangers alike. at some point, i felt like i became addicted to it. the blog praises, that is. 

what i know is that people craved the God i presented to them. in some way, what i wrote made sense to their souls. everyone has heard the saying "the story may change, but the message remains the same." so it is with me.