a time for reconciliation

usually when jesse and i venture out on road trips we end up fighting for a good length of the trip. reason number one for trying to avoid them altogether. sometimes, though, God has His way with us and sends a gust of conversation our direction.

on our trip home from oklahoma yesterday we realized it was time to let go of our bitterness and reconcile relationships with some of the folks we have distanced ourselves from over the last few years. this brings up a lot of hurt. it means forgiving a friend we helped who ended up stealing from us when we had very little. it means forgiving friends who told lies about us to save themselves. it means forgiving family who have abandoned us.

these things seem huge to us. we were wronged. and we've harbored a lot of anger because of the wrongdoings of others. but the time has come for reconciliation. we are loved with the Greatest Love. i think the Lord is giving us a chance to shine bright with the love of Christ by forgiving some of the people who have hurt us the most.

read jesse's blog about this. it might surprise you if you don't know him very well.

two month checkup

our little guy is growing so fast. literally. 

from 8 lbs, 3 oz to 13 lbs, 10 oz in such a short time. he is already sleeping at least six to eight hour stretches at night. he rolls over every once in a while, holds his head up and looks around when he can, tries to stand up when we hold his arms, makes sounds like he is talking, and my favorite part...he SMILES! these adorable, melt-my-heart smiles. there is nothing better than seeing my son smile. 

my first day back to work came this week. my first time to leave beckett for more than a few hours. it was much more bearable than i anticipated, but i can't wait to come home every day and give my little boy his "mommy kisses." 

i obviously had some good influence on beckett during his first two months of life. he is in the 90th percentile for height and weight and 50th percentile for head size (where did i go wrong on that one?). his pediatrician says he is developmentally where a four-month-old should be. *proud mom moment* he's not a newborn anymore. before long he will be sporting a real mustache...not just the faux 'stache i stuck on him for his father's day gift to dad.

first mother's day

mother's day 2010: i've only been a mommy for 20 days, but my first mother's day felt like a significant milestone in my life. i lost my mom five-and-a-half years ago. celebrating this day without her was hard. there is a deep sadness in my heart, but it is overcome with so much joy when i look at my little boy.

having beckett with us today puts life into perspective. when i look at my son, i see the perfection that God sees when He looks at us. when He looks at us, covered by the sacrificial blood of His Son, He sees Jesus. we are perfect and new...just like my little one. 

but, just as we have been discussing in our small group, i am so grateful to serve a god who is good and not always fair. 

he does not treat us as our sins deserve 
    or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, 
    so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west, 
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

psalm 103: 10-12

my sins are great and deserve great punishment, but when He looks at me and sees Christ, i am the image of perfection. thank you, Lord, for seeing us not as we were, but as we are now. thank you for making us new.

blog praise

i don't know why i have put off blogging for so long. i've been telling my husband lately that i wanted to write a book (donald miller style). in the book i would talk about my adventures on the train, things that happen in my life every day that seem revolutionary (but possibly are only revolutionary to me), and other nonsense thoughts that lead me to be who i am.

if you have followed my blogs before, you will be disappointed. i'm not who i was then. and if you only knew the me back then...we have some catching up to do. 

If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. - from a million miles in a thousand years by donald miller

i was blogging frequently around the time my mom died more than five years ago. i often wrote about the struggles i was having and how i was overcoming the difficulties of losing a parent. probably more often than that, i wrote about my encounters with God over this time, however it may have related or not to my circumstances. i received a lot of praise from close friends and internet strangers alike. at some point, i felt like i became addicted to it. the blog praises, that is. 

what i know is that people craved the God i presented to them. in some way, what i wrote made sense to their souls. everyone has heard the saying "the story may change, but the message remains the same." so it is with me.